Another day and no word, how can the man I love not send word to me?
How could he not know what he means to my heart and soul?
I stand in the shadow weeping my tears as the cold rain falls upon me like knives ripping my heart and soul over his lack attention towards me.
My life is like a shatter glass upon the floor of life with no meaning.
Desire I had to reach out to him is now flutter away like wasted dreams.
As each days slowly walks by like each breath of life is forever walking into darkness,
I shiver to my lostness of him never being with my arms.
How can I walk away what has taken my heart and soul as his forever?
I wonder with trembling thoughts of pain and sorrow somehow this is my fault he is now lost to me.
His life is now nothing where he has imprisons me with his darkness of doom.
Did he ever know what he meant to my heart and soul?
I ache to his hidden pain and sorrow.
Weeping tears upon each thought of him is killing me.
Yet I can not run away from his darkness, but he will not reach out to me.
I have reach out to all I know who knows him, but no one is telling me about him.
Why must I suffer his pain?
Should I run to him?
Would he see me?
Does he want me with him, so I can look into his eyes and hold his hand as he tremble in fear over what he has done to himself.
Can I show him the way from the darkness?
Do I have the strength and power to save him or will I lose myself in his nightmare of hell?
Why should I offer him help?
Why should I even care to that he lost to me?
He never once was true friend to me.
Why do I love him so completely, when he has never shown me one ounce of love back.
Why does his words haunting at nights?
Another day and still no word from the man I love more than life.
Why does this hurt me?
I toss and turn upon my bed with his haunting cries flowing about me.
My heart and soul says go to him,
But my mind says to wait for him to reach out to me, the one person that is dying to help him out of his nightmare life now.
Just to clarify my words, I can not deny what he stirs within my heart and soul.
My body belongs to him forever.
Even if I must wait forever till he is free to come to back into life.
I will never turn away from him.
Why does he not send me word?
Why oh why must he deny me reason to run to his side?
I would turn the world upside down to help him.
Does he know what I am going through now that he is locked away from my reach?
Why does he care about so many others, but refused to see me?
I am the one person that could save him.
I am refusing to see the undeniable truth….
He will never care about me like I care about him.
Why is that?
It was not me twisting his life up.
It was not me, who got him to hellish nightmare.
Yet it is me, who has the power and connection to save him now, but he choose to not to reach out to me.
I lingering in his hell as if its mine.
I blame myself.
When all my friends and family say it’s no way my fault.
I refuse to allow the truth into my heart and soul.
I can’t believe the truth that the man I love would do such thing to his life and career.
Another day falls upon me, I cry more tears.
I pray and hope to hear from someone that he has sent to reach out to me, so I may run to his side, but each time I come online….
There is nothing from him asking me to help him.
Why must I deny the reality?
Why must I refuse to see, he will never love me?
How can I stop my life as if my life has no reason or purpose, until he is within my reach?
Should I run away or should I fly to him?
The undeniable truth is….
I love him to much too run away from him.
I love him enough to turn over stones in hell to set him free.
I wonder will he one day come to see my endless and undying love for him.
Will he and I ever be face to face, so he can see the undeniable truth in my blue eyes?
I can only wait for the day he sends word to me.
Theo’s undeniable truth is…he is lost in a nightmare.
My heart and soul undeniable truth, I will always be here for him.
His undeniable truth is he is a damn fool not to see me or send me word.
My undeniable truth, I will wait for him forever, so one day he can keep his promise to me.
The undeniable truth, Theo , I love you even if you don’t want my love.
©2009 Firestar
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