You grab my arm, and you pull me inside. The door is shut and I am pressed up against it. With you in front of me and the door behind me, our lips touch for the first time in so many years. I’ve lost track of the all of the years. 16? 19? Has it been 20 yet? Memories flood back. Your lips are so familiar. Your taste. Your smell.
You have my head in your hands, and you pull me from the door slightly as you back away to look at me. You drink me in. My eyes, my lips, my chin. Your hands on my neck, my shoulders, my arms. You can see my heartbeat in the soft notch at the base of my throat. As your gaze lowers and I can no longer see the deep darks of your eyes, I take in all of those little signs of years missed. The grey in your hair, the tiny wrinkles at the corner of your eyes, the lobes of your ears. You take in my chest, my breasts. I won’t let you get far enough from me that you can see my hips, even though I know that’s what you want most at the moment, because I can’t stand not having my arms wrapped all the way around your body.
But I have to touch your skin. My hands find your hips, the waist of your jeans, the soft flesh of your sides. Your face disappears for an instant as your shirt comes up over your head and vanishes. I can’t believe I’m here as my eyes linger on your chest. I swear I can hear your heart pounding.
My cheek on your shoulder, I breathe you in. I taste you. My hands grip your arms. I touch the place on your shoulder where I know you have a tattoo, although I have still never seen it in person. I look up and you kiss me with such force that I gasp. My toes curl up in my shoes, and I press myself into you. My arms around your neck. A break in the kiss. You disappear again briefly and my shirt is gone. Stomach to stomach, chest to chest, our hearts are trying to break free – beating with such force it’s as if they have fists. They are in a rage. We are in a rage. I’ve never felt a kiss like this.
We are on the floor. I don’t know how we got here. I don’t know where the front door is. I think my knees must have started to give out. Kneeling here in front of you, still devouring you, your whiskers are starting to burn my face, but I love it. I need to be closer to you. I push you down so that I can crawl up on your lap and wrap my legs around your waist. I feel you hard through our jeans, like we’re teenagers, and I feel young. Teenage desire frozen in time and unleashed years later. You laugh a little unhooking and removing my bra. You think it’s funny that I wore one. I knew when I put it on you’d think it was silly, but I want to pack as many memories into this day as I can. The feel of your smile and the breath of your little laugh on my lips is one I will keep with me until the day I die.
Your voice shakes as you tell me that you love me. We’re both so nervous. We’ve never been here before. Our timing has been so wrong for all these years. I bury my face in your neck, and I say your name because I want to hear it out loud. I begin to tremble a little and you hold me tighter. I know that we’ll have to pry ourselves apart eventually, but for now I am going to hang on for dear life. You feel the wave of sadness come over me. You bring me back with a string of playful kisses up my neck, and I know that you are with me in my mind.
You always were.
You are running your fingers down my back, giving me unbelievable chills, and my shoulders arch back in response. I reach down and unbutton your jeans. I start with your zipper and I can get it down just far enough so that I can run my hands down your back to your ass. My fingers flirt with the spot where your cheeks separate. Then I grab your ass and find myself suddenly flipped on my back. I’m lucky there’s a rug. You are as desperate to get out of your pants as a seventeen-year-old boy, and you succeed in short order. I am propped up on my elbows seeing you naked for the very first time. All these years.
You’re obviously torn between ripping off my pants and kissing me. It’s unbelievably cute. I begin undoing my jeans in order to free you from this moment of indecision, and as I am trying to get them off you are smothering me in kisses. My neck, my breasts, my belly. You take each of my hard nipples in for a nibble, and I reach down and bring your face up to mine. I kiss you. I kiss you like I have wanted to kiss you exactly like this in this moment every day of my entire adult life.
You back away in order to take me in with your eyes. All of me. You smile and give me a disapproving look upon discovering that I had the audacity to leave my hipsters on, and you snatch them off. All of me. I can feel your eyes everywhere. I sit up and move toward you. I know you want to look, but I need for you to kiss me.
Our hands wander. They wander to hips and chests. My back, my ass, my thighs. Your neck, your nipples, your stomach. My legs, your legs, my feet, your back. You push me to the floor with a firm hand on my shoulder just as I reach for your erection, and all I get is a brief encounter before you have my wrists pinned above my head.
You kiss my forehead, my eyes, my cheeks, lips and chin. You kiss my neck, my collarbone, shoulders and under arms. I breathlessly tell you that I love you, and your hands slide down from my hands, down my arms to my breasts and sides. You’re kissing my stomach and my hips start to rise up. I know how long you have wanted to be doing this. I stopped you once, and I’ve regretted it ever since. Your hands slip under my lower back the next time I arch up. My legs spread and you are kissing the insides of my thighs. I can’t stop squirming, and you bite me like an precocious little boy first on my left thigh, then on my right.
You grab my ass and pull me toward you. I feel your warm quick breath on me. And your tongue. Oh, God, your tongue. My back arches and my hips rise as your tongue darts into me and then slowly moves up parting my labia on your way to my clitoris. I cry out as you arrive and begin to suckle.
I can’t let you linger. I know you want to, but there will be time for that later. I need you to take me now or I will surely die. I can already feel the orgasm building, and I reach for you. I pull you up over me, and my hips rise to take you in as if that was where you were always meant to be. The face of God. The meaning of life. The crashing of the ocean on the shore, and I am yours. From the soles of my feet to the top of my head, I am yours.
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