Festive
I had always had a very close knit family. I grew up in a warm home with 2 sisters and 3 brothers. My mom and dad were very happy together and never can I ever remember them fighting. We did everything as a family and we stood up for each other. I had never met another family like my own. We spend every holiday together.
I was the second oldest of the children. My brother Justin was older than me by only 10 months. I had been born 2 months early. He and I were closer to each other than any of our other siblings. He was my best friend and had been since I was a little girl.
Justin graduated from high school a year before I did. He didn’t go to college, because he went straight into the family construction business. I selfishly was glad that he didn’t leave, even though I had every intention of going off to college. I just couldn’t stand the thoughts of living at home without him there. He had always been my shoulder to cry on and my protector. Sometimes he was a little too good of a protector, considering all of the guys in my town were afraid to go out with me because they were afraid of Justin. I didn’t really mind though. I really just couldn’t see myself with any of them anyway.
The year came that I graduated from high school. Over that summer my brother grew more and more distant from me. It broke my heart, because he stopped spending time with me. He wouldn’t sit and watch movies with me and he no longer sat in my room until real late at night talking to me. I didn’t understand why he was doing this and every time I tried to talk to him he would just blow me off.
I had been excepted into a college in another state. The day finally came for me to leave. My whole family gathered in the lobby of our family home. Everyone but Justin. I looked around and asked “Where is Justin?”
Mom and Dad gave each other a wary look. “Sara, your brother had to go into work. He was really upset that he couldn’t be here.”
I was so upset. I knew he could have been there. He was his own boss and I knew he just didn’t want to be there. I fought back my tears and gave all of my brothers and sisters hugs. I hugged my parents and said my goodbyes. I got in my car and drove the 9 hours to college.
Most of the students at the college lived on campus, but my scholarship didn’t pay for boarding and it was cheaper for me to rent an apartment. I got a job at a local coffee shop that barely paid over minimum wage. I struggled to pay my bills, but it was the only place that would work with my school schedule.
I had made several friends in a very short period of time, but none of them could take my mind off of my family. Especially my brother Justin. I had called home almost every night and every time I called I would ask to speak to him. He would always give Mom and Dad some excuse as to why he couldn’t get on the phone with me. Every time it broke my heart even more. I didn’t understand why all of a sudden Justin hated me.
Thanksgiving came and went. I didn’t have enough money to go home for the holiday, but a friend of mine let me go with her to her family’s house. They lived 3 hours away and the only reason I could even afford to go there was because she drove and wouldn’t let me help her with the gas money.
It was a nice dinner, but it was nothing like the huge Thanksgiving dinner my family always had. My whole family would be involved in fixing the food. Justin and I would always be in charge of the turkey, because he and I both would sit up almost all night while it baked in the oven. I missed him so bad.
After Thanksgiving, I got back into my daily routine of going to class, then to work. I tried to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of Justin. Nothing seemed to work. No matter how busy I was at work or how involved I was with my studies, my thoughts would always trail back to Justin. I felt more alone than I ever had and Christmas was quickly approaching.
I didn’t have any money to buy Christmas gifts, much less decorations, but my landlord was kind enough to give me an old Christmas tree. The poor little thing was pitiful, but it was better than nothing. I made little paper ornaments for it and took pictures of my family and hung them on the tree too. I would stare at the pictures every night before I went to bed. I would get so homesick. I had the picture of Justin on the very top of the tree where the star would usually go. I would cry every time I looked at the picture.
It started snowing a week before Christmas. I had saved all the money I could save to be able to go home for Christmas. I had planned on leaving the day before Christmas Eve. I couldn’t wait to go home to see my family. I was nervous about seeing Justin. I wasn’t sure how he would react and I really didn’t think I could stand it if he was still upset with me, for whatever reason.
I sat in my tiny living room watching the snow fall outside. I worried that if the snow didn’t let up, I wouldn’t be able to go home. My poor little car wasn’t safe to drive on wet roads, much less roads covered with snow and ice.
It was the day before I was suppose to leave and there was a foot of snow on the ground. The weather man said that there was a blizzard coming and we were expecting at least nine more inches. My heart sank as I realized that I wouldn’t be able to go home for Christmas.
With tears in my eyes I dialed the number to my family’s home. “Hello?” It was my little brother Joe.
“Hey JoJo, is mom around?”
“Yeah hold on a second.” He held the phone away from his mouth and yelled. “Mom, Sara is on the phone.”
A few seconds later my mom picked up the phone. “Hey sweetie. I just watched the news. You aren’t going to be able to make it are you?”
I couldn’t help but sob. I was crying so hard I could barely talk. “No, I’m not. The weather is too bad and they say it will be like this for a few weeks.” I sobbed and tried to get a hold on myself. “Mom I miss you guys so bad and I am so homesick. I can’t stand the thoughts of not being home for Christmas. We have never had a Christmas without everyone being there.”
“I know sweetie, but you can’t chance getting out on the road in that car. It’s too dangerous. I would rather see you next summer and know that you are safe than for you to chance that drive and get yourself killed.”
I heard the phone click on the other end. I thought Mom had hung up on me. “Mom, are you there?”
“Yes honey I’m here. It must have been JoJo hanging up the other phone. Listen baby, I am going to have to go because I’m right in the middle of fixing diner and our cordless phone tore up. I’ll call you back here in a little while.”
“Okay Mom.” I sniffed. “I’ll talk to you in a little while.”
Mom took a deep breath. “Sweetie please calm down. Crying isn’t going to fix anything.”
“I know mom. I’ll talk to you later.”
I hung up the phone and buried my face in my pillow and cried. I must have cried myself to sleep, because I woke up to my phone ringing.
“Hello?” I said with sleep heavy in my voice.
“Hey sweetie, did I wake you up?” It was mom.
“Yeah, but that’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“Well it started snowing here now. We already had about 4 inches and they say it’s just going to keep snowing until after Christmas. Your father just got home a little while ago and Justin took the truck. I have no idea where he was going, but he told your father that he needed the truck because it has 4 wheel drive.”
I felt a strike of panic. “Mom he doesn’t need to be out driving on the roads if they are bad. He could get himself killed.”
“Sara, your brother has more experience driving in the snow than anyone. He’s a big boy and I can’t tell him what to do. Besides he’s the one who bought that truck so I’m sure you can imagine what all it has on it. He has snow tires with chains on them so I’m pretty sure he will be alright.”
After I was satisfied that my brother would be alright, Mom and I talked about random things until she started getting sleepy. She got off the phone and I walked into my living room and stared out the window with tears in my eyes.
I had always loved the snow. I remembered when I was little, Justin and I would go out and play for hours in the snow. Mom and Dad would have to make us come in to warm up. As soon as we were warm we would head right back out into it. We would build boy and girl snow people and we would make snow angels. He and I both would look forward to winter every year, but this year I hated the winter. I hated the snow. I hated Christmas.
I was miserable for the next few days. I watched the snow build and build outside. I missed my family so bad, but most of all I missed my brother, Justin.
It was Christmas Eve. The day had passed with everyone calling me to console me. They all tried to be sympathetic, but I couldn’t help but hear that Christmas Joy in their tone. I didn’t want anyone to be sad on Christmas, but it wasn’t helping me to hear all of them in their jolly good moods while I sat at home without my family, with barely a Christmas tree, no gifts under it and worse of all I didn’t have my brother. He hadn’t even called me today. I figured he would have at least called me to make sure I was alright. I guess he was really upset with me. I just wish I knew why.
I sat by my window watching the snow fall. I hated it. I would look up at my poor Christmas Tree and cry. I got up and got the picture of my brother and held it while I cried myself to sleep. Wishing on everything that I could at least have him with me for Christmas.
I had the strangest dream. In my dream I was sitting at my window and my brother walked in my front door and scooped me up and kissed me. Only he didn’t kiss me the way a brother should kiss a sister. He kissed me like I was a long lost lover. I woke up with a start and realized that my panties were wet. I couldn’t believe that I had just had a wet dream about my brother. I felt so ashamed and dirty, but I realized then why it had bothered me so much that my brother was upset with me. It hadn’t seemed like a fight between a brother and a sister. It has always felt like the love of my life had broken up with me. I realized that I felt like he had left me and not as my brother, but as my lover. I couldn’t believe what I was feeling. I have been in love with him this whole time. It was so wrong. How could I feel that way about my brother. I realized that all the signs were there. I never dated anyone because I didn’t need to. I had him. I never had sex with anyone, because no one ever measured up to him.
What if that was why he was so upset with me? Had he realized before I did what my true feelings for him were? Was he disgusted with me because he knew I was in love with him?
I felt tears come to my eyes. I stood up and looked out my window. I watched as a black truck pulled up outside. Who would be crazy enough to get out in this weather? Then I seen the family business name on the side of the truck. OH MY GOD. I had to be dreaming. That is what it was. I was just dreaming. This was all a dream. I didn’t really feel that way for my brother. It was just a dream.
I stood up and started to go put some clothes on, convinced that I was dreaming anyway. I hit my shin on my coffee table and it hurt really bad. I realized that I wasn’t dreaming. I walked back over to the window and I watched Justin get out of the truck and look around. He had a piece of paper in his hand and he was scanning the neighborhood. I assumed he was trying to find my apartment. I wanted to run to him and jump in his arms, but I couldn’t. I was frozen at my window looking down on him in the street. I couldn’t believe he was actually here on Christmas.
He turned around and looked up at the second story window of my apartment. Our eyes met and for a moment we just stood there staring at each other. Then he smiled at me. I smiled back and ran for my door. I ran down the stairs and out into the snow. I didn’t even feel the cold nor did I realize what I was wearing.
I ran straight to him and jumped in his arms. “Whoa! Sis, you are going to get sick out here dressed like that.” He picked me up and carried me into the house.
I was only wearing a t-shirt that was just long enough to cover my belly button and a pair of bikini cut black cotton panties. He sat me down on the couch and sat down with me. He stared at me then he smiled. “Marry Christmas Sara.”
I couldn’t believe he was here. I just stared at him and then I became aware of what I was wearing. I felt that my nipples were hard under my shirt. I knew they were showing through. I couldn’t decide if they were hard from the cold or if it was from they way he was looking at me. I was shivering all over. I went to grab the blanket from the back of the couch and he quickly grabbed my wrist. “Hey, it’s not like it’s something I’ve never seen before. We use to take baths together, remember?” I let go of the blanket.
He smiled at me. “Oh I have something for you.” He dug around in his pockets for a minute and then pulled out a colorful box. “I stopped at every store from home to here looking for this and wouldn’t you know it, the store right down the road here was the only one that had it.” He turned the box around and I could see the green mistletoe through the clear cellophane window of the box. He opened the box and pulled out the mistletoe and held it up. “Well Sara, how about a Christmas kiss for your brother?”
I couldn’t help but notice the desire in his eyes. He was scanning my whole body. I slowly leaned up and he held the mistletoe above our heads. I still hadn’t spoke a word. He leaned in and he kissed me on the lips. He lingered a little longer than what would be appropriate for a brother. I pulled away from him, because I could feel my pussy getting wet again. I felt the tingling sensation I feel when I get turned on. “Is that all I get after driving for over 2 days in the snow? That nine hour drive takes a bit longer when you are only able to drive 20 miles an hour you know.”
I smiled at him. I leaned over and kissed him again. Just planning to give him another peck on the lips, but he wrapped his hand around my head and full on kissed me. I felt his tongue teasing my lips and even though there was a part of me telling me it was wrong, I accepted his tongue in my mouth.
He broke the kiss this time. “Sara, I am so sorry I have been so mean to you. I know you are probably going to hate me after this and you are going to think I’m some sick bastard, but when you graduated high school and decided that you were leaving for college I realized that I was in love with you and I don’t mean I love you like a sister, which I do, but I love you so much more than that. I tried to fight the feelings away and I was so angry because you were leaving.
I decided it would…
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