You gently run your fingers across the contours of my face, down my button nose your fingertips go, and then you trace the defined outline of my lips.
I’m paralysed by it, my lips try to quiver but your fingers hush them.
You pull me close to you and wrap yourself around me, enveloping me with desire yet there’s a distance between us.
My eyes are closed now and I’m somewhere else, somewhere that isn’t here with you.
Where I am, is unimportant, I’ve never been to this place before, I’ve never used somebody the way I’m using you.
You apply gentle kisses, they aren’t obligatory ones they’re real kisses, the kind I remember from once upon a time.
All I can give you are mock kisses and a smile that says “Thank you, thank you for needing me.”
I always dreamed of moments like this, but I never dreamt about you.
Your touches are arousing me, I’m only human after all and as your fingers find my wetness I gasp with my physical need.
My legs open of their own accord as I offer a small part of myself to you selfishly. I don’t reach out to seek your hardness, I don’t care that much.
Your fingers delve into my depths and I welcome them, the slick sounds I make inviting you further.
“Yes”
I simply utter in encouragement as you work on me, in and out you go, faster and harder each time as my moans, desperate in tone, beg you for more without dignity.
You alternate your attention between my swelling clit and the warmth of my sopping hole, I fantasise in my head about a different person, a different scenario as my orgasm sweeps over me and I cling to you, cling to the pleasure until it fades and I’m left with the sinking feeling of shame.
When my body stops convulsing you pull me close to you and kiss me, it’s a closeness I’ve yearned for, but I don’t yearn for you.
For my part in this I close my eyes and smile, again it’s a thank you for needing me.
You’re between my legs now and there’s no hesitation as your deliciously welcome cock enters my sopping playground. I moan under your weight as you thrust into me, and I raise my hips up to greet you.
I’m wild beneath you as I knead my own breasts and cry out to you to give me everything you have.
“Give it to me, please”
I beg and you try, but you can’t give me everything because you don’t know of it.
I writhe under you, my reactions please you, deceive you, because you’ve never seen me when I’m in bed with somebody I desire with my whole being.
Your mouth is tight on my nipple you suck them hard and “without desire it hurts me” but I won’t stop you.
“Kiss me”
You say and I sink a little bit further as I realise how bad a job I am doing of pretending, but I never wanted to pretend don’t you see that I’m not a pretender.
I kiss you and it’s no effort but it’s not the sort of kiss that stories are made of.
My lips turn up at the sides as I smile but my eyes aren’t smiling, my pulse isn’t racing and my heart isn’t yearning.
I’m certain you’re enjoying this though we’re in different worlds, and in just a few more thrusts you’re filling me with copious amounts of your seed and I’m weary now with the emotions that are missing,
I turn my back on you slowly as you hold me close to you and plant more of those kisses on my neck I murmur mock sounds of contentment and go to sleep.
On waking I find that you’re gazing at me.
I smile at you but inside my head the alarm bells are ringing because you aren’t supposed to desire me this much.
There’s not much I can do now but see this out until the end and it pains me that I’m so weak I’ve allowed myself to come to this place.
I reason with myself, try hard to convince myself that using you like this is okay, but as I look at you, looking at me with lust in your eyes, the voice in my head tells me “this is empty, this isn’t right”
I close my eyes again as you move in close behind me, I feel your hardness against my back and you manoeuvre yourself so that your lovely thick cock rests on my backside, throbbing, searching.
“This is turning into an epic session because I want it to be over”
I think in my head as I feel your weight pushing against my tight amateur ass. I wonder for a second whether it’s worth it, but thoughts are just thoughts and they don’t connect with my mouth, so I wince a lot as your thickness passes the resistance and overwhelms my tight but accepting hole.
I moan quietly beside you until the thrill takes over and the word “yes” leaves my lips betraying my body in true fashion.
You respond by pounding me ruthlessly, you want to see how much I can actually take before I’ll cry out in pain but you don’t realise that even if you did hurt me I’d never let on.
I cry out and though it does feel very good to have you buried in the darkness of my now sore ass, I’m crying out because I know it will tip you, it will empty you into my depths and give this story the ending it deserves.
Let this story end, for they never normally do.
“Fuck yeah, fuck it hard”
I say as I look around at you with feigned wantonness and you let go, you become wild with me. I like it a lot, but what I like more than that on this occasion is the feel of your hot cum pumping into my cool ass as you roar and release yourself. I crumple now beneath you, my job here done.
I act like the exhausted, sleep deprived woman, when the truth is I could go on and on if I so desired.
When you’ve said goodbye and you kiss me, real promises the last thing to leave your lips, I close the door and slide down the wall just inside.
I won’t cry, it hasn’t broken me I was already broken by someone that used me once upon a time. I won’t use you again and I’m sorry for the distance.
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